Woman Seeking Man Personal add

I don't know whats going on right now, Craig called me and said post to my list, and I was like how did you get my number, he said, "nevermind that now you have a job to do, you're on a mission, post to my list damn it, do it, do it now..." so I began to post and I started to post a lamp to sell, because I wasn't sure what Craig meant, by post, and do it now...... but then Hershel and the Hanukkah Goblins called me as I started to list a lamp for sale that I really did not want to sell in the first place, because it's a nice lamp, not super nice, but nice enough to hold on to. I said, "What the hell do you want Hershel, Hanukkah is over with, what are you doing making calls in January?", he replied, "That's not important, don't sell that lamp, it was a gift from your sister, she'd never let you forget it if you sold it on Craigs spectacular list." I responded, "Thanks for stopping me Hershel, because I really do want to keep this lamp. But, Craig told me to post to his list, I don't want to upset him or the entire internet economy and community, what should I post and where?", and Hershel was right on time when he whispered silently into his Blackberry, "well you know how you've been thinking about finding someone to date or have a possible long term relationship with?", and I said, "Yeah, what about it!? You got a Fucking problem with that Hershel!? What the hell is wrong with that, what!? You can and the Hanukkah Goblins can find and meet your significant others, but I can't seek out happiness, you've got some nerve-" he interrupted with, "Listen you shmendrick, I'm trying to tell you to post to the classifieds to find a manthrough the modern means of cyberspace to find love, you can even tell him how you're willing to lie about how you met!", so I said, "Oh, I see, yes, yes, excellent idea, thank you once again Hershel, this is two I owe you, don't think I forgot about that time in Colombia when you saved me from getting killed by that Cocaine Drug-lord, I swear I didn't owe him any money, that wasn't my Kilo in the trunk" then he said, "What are you doing still talking to me, post already, post damn it....." and I said, "what should I write?" but he had already hung up, so I walked over to my neighbors house in my underwear and told him this story and asked what I should write on craigslist, but then I remembered my neighbor doesn't speak English, so I came back home and now I am writing this post. Ummm... I guess you would like to hear about me, well, I brush my teeth everyday, and I always make sure to wear deodorant, oh and I shower regularly. I live in metro detroit, and am a whole lot of fun, I'm not just saying that, I really am a lot of fun.. hold on... my phones ringing... god damnit, it's Hershel.... let me see what he wants...... Ok, he said to make sure to write that I don't date men who have more than three dicks, hes probably just still shook up from that run in we got to on planet omicron persei eight in the degaba system, and yes sometimes Hershel takes me on space odysseys to other galaxies. Umm, I'm really sweet and nice.... Uh, and you can ask any questions you have and we can get to know each other that way, by conversation, it'll be an adventure. I'm beautiful, and I'm not just saying that either..... Oh, and if you send me your picture I will send you mine.... How bout you tell me a story about yourself...... And as Hershel stated, I'd be willing to lie about how we met....

Thinking Way Out of The Box

Sit back and think...
I never wanted to leave your side; I was afraid to lose you, but then reality hit me - you never felt the same, I had been floating on a fake cloud. You trampled my heart and didn't even know it...

Like a rose wilting and dying, so feels my heart. You trampled the most fragile thing in my body, and didn't even know it. I thought you felt the same as me...

As in all moral panics, an accusation is enough to destroy a person's life. Hysteria trumps evidence! When one person makes an accusation, check 2 be sure he himself is not the guilty one. Sometimes it's those whose case is weak who make the most clamour! She racked her brain for words scathing enough to convey her o...pinion of their actions. When nothing came 2 her, she settled for the one unanswerable accusation...See More

...mysteriously and in ways that are totally remote from normal experience, the gray drizzle of horror induced by depression takes on the quality of physical pain ... it's entirely natural that the victim begins to think ceaselessly of oblivion...

Thinking

If it develops into real love, it will offer you sanctuary and real freedom. When two people know that they both want the strength of a relationship, the combination is bigger and better than either of them could hope to be alone. Freedom in a relationship is knowing that the other person cares about you no matter what.
Love does not make you vulnerable. Insufficient personality makes you vulnerable. If there is a weakness in your personality, fix it. Love cannot hurt you. It is an expression of appreciation and it gives life. It doesn't take it away.If you want something too badly, it can be painful. The lesson is that you should never covet.
I have misplaced my values so many times I can't count em all, but I believe it taught me the difference between love and ego. You are strong for putting your thoughts out there. That's how you find answers. I don't claim to have them, but I go out there too.

So True...

Because we do not know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. Yet everything happens a certain number of times, and a very small number, really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, some afternoon that is so deeply a part of your being that you can't even conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four or five times more. Perhaps not even that. How many times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems limitless.
What is depression really? Is there one concrete definition, or has the meaning loosened as our generation has continued it's downhill descent? To me, depression is simply my life. I'm not suicidal. I'm not a cutter. I don't hate the world. I don't dress completely in black. I'm just sad. I've been sad for what feels like my entire life, but that's not true. I was happy once and I can vaguely remember what it felt like, but I can't touch it. I can't get that happiness back, I don't know how. That's what depression is to me, knowing what happiness is, but never being able to touch it, to feel it. One of the worst feelings in the world is loneliness. Sitting in the dark by yourself in the wee hours of the night gently crying. Nobody knows what's going on with you. How could anybody realize what's happening? Everybody you know is resting peacefully in their bed awaiting the new day tomorrow. But for you, there's no difference in the days. They pass monotonously. And before you know it, it's all gone. Sometimes you can cry until there is nothing left wet in you. You can scream and curse to where your throat rebels and ruptures. You can pray all you want to whatever god you think will listen. And still, it makes no difference. It goes on, with no sign as to when it might release you. And you know that if it ever did relent... it would not be because it cared. Reality has exiled me; I am no longer bound by it's laws. No more joy - No more sadness - No emotion - Only madness. I can't see. I don't feel. I can't touch. I don't heal.

America F*ck Ya Speaks the Truth

See, there's three kinds of people: dicks, pussies, and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along, and dicks just want to fuck all the time without thinking it through. But then you got your assholes. And all the assholes want us to shit all over everything! So, pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes. And if they didn't fuck the assholes, you know what you'd get? You'd get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit!

~Team America

The Worst Pain

Have you even been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life .... You give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like maybe we should just be friends or how very perceptive turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination; not just in the mind, it's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love

The worst pain in the world is knowing that he meant everything to you but you meant nothing to him. But, life goes on once you realize your own strength inside of you: the strength to realize that saying goodbye doesn't mean that you don't love the person anymore or that you don't want to keep them in your life. It doesn't mean you're weak. It means that you've the strength to let go and live your life to the fullest because you've learned that life really is good. You are strong and can only be as happy as you choose...

Why??

Every single person in this world waits for love in their life. Some people say love didn't come to them but it was right in front of their eyes. Some people wait a lifetime for true love, I should know, I'm still waiting for my true love. It's amazing the things you realize when you lose someone: you get mad at yourself for not saying the things you could have a million times, you take for granted the days spent doing nothing when you could have been with them. Anyone can be taken, at any time in our lives, but we always wait until they're gone to say the things we never had the courage to before. You'll never understand why I hurt so much because you're not the one who is crying, you're not the one who is left behind, you're not the one who loved too much, and you're not the one who is holding on to someone who is gone. I cried when I knew I lost you, afraid I had lost it all. Then I realized that losing you, didn't have to mean I lost me. The fear about losing a loved one is the fear of change itself. Being used to one person, day after day, then to one day wake up all alone, a whole new day. Think of it as a chance to start over to learn from the past and make a brand new beginning. They say, 'Time heals all wounds.' If that is true, then I guess mine go deeper than pain. There are no words to choose over losing you. I guess I found out out too late, and now all I feel is heartbreak that only hurts when I breathe. Grief is a profound part of recovery and new life. Tears of regrets, remorse and despair waters the roots of love and life itself. To deny and avoid the hurts and pains of life's losses is to negate life's importance . Remember me when you are gone, far to the beyond, away from me. A journey I cannot go with you on, even though you are going for good. I have tried for tears not to fall from my eyes. Keep alive the beautiful times we share, and take it to heart that my love for you is ever sure. Remember me. Oh, remember me, for memory may fade but they never die.
I believe the saddest thing in life, is caring so much for someone and then one day you look into their eyes and listen to them talk and realize that they are gone. All you see in front of you is a stranger with just a known name. Some people think that it's holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it's letting go...