Thursday, March 24, 2011
Men are like Kleenex
Men are like kleenex... they are there in the box if you require one, when you're done with it you can throw it away; and if you really really require it to kill a spider or something its there waiting for you in the trash :) ~Soliel
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Treat Friendship like Lettuce...
When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don't blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have problems with our friends or family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and arguments. That is my experience. No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding. ~Thich Nhat Hahn
It is my opinion that we in fact, need to think more like this. Instead of placing blame for failure in our personal relationships, why not look inside ourselves, take personal responsibility, and see what we could do to make things better?
Friendships and relationships in general, have long since been compared to a garden. It needs to be tended to. It needs to be weeded, fertilized, watered, and cared for. It takes work to have a healthy relationship. It takes patience, and love. It is often laborious, and rarely easy.
Love and friendship can take many forms. Sometimes, it can come down like lightning, striking everything in its path with electricity. It can make your hair stand on end, and make you feel truly alive with the simplest touch from another. Sometimes it's complicated, and can cause much strife before all is made clear. Sometimes, it floats in like a feather on a gentle wind. It comes in virtually unnoticed, and sits a spell. By the time you realize what is going on, the feather has locked a place inside you that you never really thought possible.
Friendships are much the same way. Sometimes, you meet someone, and there is an instant mesh of personalities and energy, but sometimes, these build slowly, and only with time. You start to talk to a person, and then you talk a little more… all of a sudden, you cannot imagine your life without them. The mere thought of not talking to them each day is almost as if a part of you is dying. It scary, and sad, but at the same time, helps you feel like you are not solitary in this world. The greatest gift that a friend can give is companionship.
Friendship has been said to be a necessity for human existence. It offers us comfort in the face of adversity, but also laughter and tears. It offers us touch, and it offers us a key to the human condition that we cannot go without.
In this modern day society, I know that I can go the majority of my day talking to people, but not saying more than five words aloud. I can tweet, facebook, and myspace have full conversations via instant messaging and text email, but not say anything to another person that is actually in my presence. That fact makes me sad. The art form that is communication has been lost in a technological firestorm, with all of us caught up in its wake. The ability to get a hold of someone at any given time, on any given day, has warped our sense of connection. When was the last time you received a hug that was not from your children or spouse?
For some of us, hugs and human touch outside of our nuclear family come freely, and frequently. However, many many more do not have that experience as their norm. We need to get out of our cubicle lives, and start living in the big world. We need to start expanding on our social circles, and we need to let our guard down and be open to new ideas. We need to find people that share our likes and dislikes, and we need to open ourselves up from our small corner of the universe, and take charge of what we have left. We need a call to arms so to speak to help us battle the emotional disconnect that we have been feeling for so long.
I challenge you this. Next time, when you are out running errands, smile. Be mindful of the look and expression that crosses your face, and smile. Smile at the cashier at the grocery store, the server at the restaurant, the mail carrier. Smile at the bank teller, and the little girl that's in line behind you, bumping into you with a cart. Smile at the old man walking his dog, and smile at the window washer. Let the person stuck in the left lane over. It takes 5 seconds to slow down, and let them over, and wave. It could truly make someone's day easier. Then, I implore you to make eye contact. With the people that pass you in a parking lot, or when someone smiles at you. Make eye contact, and smile. It does not cost a thing, and is virtually painless. All it takes is a millisecond to decide if you are going to do it.
When did we all become so selfish? When did it start being me me me, and a sense of entitlement when we really do not deserve it? When did it become more important for we as a society to not give a shit, and just get out and get ours? What kind of example are we setting for our children?
I, for one, am willing to make a commitment that is this. I am willing to take a stand, and say I will try to no longer see the negative first. I will try to walk into a place, my head held high, and smile. I am willing to try to make eye contact, and hug my friends. I am willing to try, to make emotional connections that will last far more than a single serving.
It is my opinion that we in fact, need to think more like this. Instead of placing blame for failure in our personal relationships, why not look inside ourselves, take personal responsibility, and see what we could do to make things better?
Friendships and relationships in general, have long since been compared to a garden. It needs to be tended to. It needs to be weeded, fertilized, watered, and cared for. It takes work to have a healthy relationship. It takes patience, and love. It is often laborious, and rarely easy.
Love and friendship can take many forms. Sometimes, it can come down like lightning, striking everything in its path with electricity. It can make your hair stand on end, and make you feel truly alive with the simplest touch from another. Sometimes it's complicated, and can cause much strife before all is made clear. Sometimes, it floats in like a feather on a gentle wind. It comes in virtually unnoticed, and sits a spell. By the time you realize what is going on, the feather has locked a place inside you that you never really thought possible.
Friendships are much the same way. Sometimes, you meet someone, and there is an instant mesh of personalities and energy, but sometimes, these build slowly, and only with time. You start to talk to a person, and then you talk a little more… all of a sudden, you cannot imagine your life without them. The mere thought of not talking to them each day is almost as if a part of you is dying. It scary, and sad, but at the same time, helps you feel like you are not solitary in this world. The greatest gift that a friend can give is companionship.
Friendship has been said to be a necessity for human existence. It offers us comfort in the face of adversity, but also laughter and tears. It offers us touch, and it offers us a key to the human condition that we cannot go without.
In this modern day society, I know that I can go the majority of my day talking to people, but not saying more than five words aloud. I can tweet, facebook, and myspace have full conversations via instant messaging and text email, but not say anything to another person that is actually in my presence. That fact makes me sad. The art form that is communication has been lost in a technological firestorm, with all of us caught up in its wake. The ability to get a hold of someone at any given time, on any given day, has warped our sense of connection. When was the last time you received a hug that was not from your children or spouse?
For some of us, hugs and human touch outside of our nuclear family come freely, and frequently. However, many many more do not have that experience as their norm. We need to get out of our cubicle lives, and start living in the big world. We need to start expanding on our social circles, and we need to let our guard down and be open to new ideas. We need to find people that share our likes and dislikes, and we need to open ourselves up from our small corner of the universe, and take charge of what we have left. We need a call to arms so to speak to help us battle the emotional disconnect that we have been feeling for so long.
I challenge you this. Next time, when you are out running errands, smile. Be mindful of the look and expression that crosses your face, and smile. Smile at the cashier at the grocery store, the server at the restaurant, the mail carrier. Smile at the bank teller, and the little girl that's in line behind you, bumping into you with a cart. Smile at the old man walking his dog, and smile at the window washer. Let the person stuck in the left lane over. It takes 5 seconds to slow down, and let them over, and wave. It could truly make someone's day easier. Then, I implore you to make eye contact. With the people that pass you in a parking lot, or when someone smiles at you. Make eye contact, and smile. It does not cost a thing, and is virtually painless. All it takes is a millisecond to decide if you are going to do it.
When did we all become so selfish? When did it start being me me me, and a sense of entitlement when we really do not deserve it? When did it become more important for we as a society to not give a shit, and just get out and get ours? What kind of example are we setting for our children?
I, for one, am willing to make a commitment that is this. I am willing to take a stand, and say I will try to no longer see the negative first. I will try to walk into a place, my head held high, and smile. I am willing to try to make eye contact, and hug my friends. I am willing to try, to make emotional connections that will last far more than a single serving.
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