Country Bumpkin vs. City Slicker

Well I'm sitting here at Clarkes Diner grabbed something to eat-or lack there of. No I'm not sitting here merely to avoid my house. To be honest its because I am scared to walk home. And I hate this feeling. I hate being afraid. I hate being alone-I just am not happy with the whole sitution I am in...and it is like my hands are tied as too how I can get out of it. I finally get a good opportunity but it comes at the price of my sanity. Ever since I was a little girl I've always had this mind set that the country is the ideal place to be-but the city has more oppurtunities but at a price that I don't want to pay. In the country you only merely have to worry about a occasional wild animal here and there. A safe haven where you don't have to always look over your shoulder constantly or be secret agent aware of the people around you or your surroundings. The country is a haven where you can leave your house open to loet fresh air in while you run to town- and when you return you don't have to worry about who busted into your house-just whether you forgot to close the windows when it rained. It's a place where people can do errands around town and leave their doors unlocked or their windows rolled down. A place where people have dogs not as protectors but as companions- as man's best friend. The country is the most peaceful at night where you welcome the darkness and embrace it. Where you might carry a flash light as a means to find your way. Not like the city where when it becomes night time it does not indeed become night time; but orange time. Where it doesn't relax you- but puts you more on edge where the orange glow of night time in the city is falsehood to make a person feel safe because your sight is not as dampered while meandering around pas dusk. That when in the city you actually encounter that dark area that carries nightime's true colors instead of being at ease you are scared almost to the point of being terrified. Instead of having a flashlight to help you- you are by society to arm yourself. Whether it comes in the form of mace, or a knife or even to the point of a gun. The once peaceful- calming refuge of darkness is turned into your enemy and intentions of causing you harm. That everyone that approaches you is defaulted as your enemy and is out to cause you harm in one way or another; until proven otherwise. That the city turns your "charming countryside bumpkin character" into a stupid thing that a fool would possess because they are nieve.
Before I moved to the city on the rare occasion when I would dream it would be a precious moment relived; or a scenario that goes your way. But the few times when your slumber time was interrupted by a adrenaline pupming nightmare- it was about something bogus and totally out of this world. Like you falling forever or the dinosaur under your bed. You would wake up lajgh at what extents your imagination can go.
But since moving here I have had dreamless nights.- until last night I had the worst nightmare on the books. Enough that not only did I get woke because of it but I woke up in a cold sweat and my heart beating out of my chest.
Something has affected me to the bad enough point that I had to endure my own horror. Just a simple scenario of me hanging out with soem friends having a good time that went horribly rotten. Then this gorry I can't believe I was capable of thinking this up. there was no rolling over to forget this. I didn't dare fall back asleep. And this has done nothing but roll through my mind all day.